The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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