wat bout pragnant strippers??
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
