Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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