dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
