think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
