These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize