she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
