Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She's the barista slut.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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