Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize