the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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