first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We had to coat check the pizza.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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