And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Too much gin, very little bucket
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
