why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
