I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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