i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
