Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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