What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Dick very happy bro
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
