I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
