Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize