If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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