He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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