But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
