Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
