toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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