They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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