i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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