Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he was CRYING into my vagina
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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