ya dads aren't the best wingmen
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
