This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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