I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
