I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
