I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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