i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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