so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
