Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
