I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
