Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
