But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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