the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize