I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
