Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
