I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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