Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
