he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
This is my gift to your gina
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
