dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
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