You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
