I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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