Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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