I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
