if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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