I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
