well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
