If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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