***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
