Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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