I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
