Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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