so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
