Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
...so i touched it.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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