made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
