Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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