Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
How does one acquire holy water?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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