Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
