Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We have so much sex to catch up on
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We are all done wearing pants today
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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