I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
