There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
