Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
