He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
