I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
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