Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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