So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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