You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
