You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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