just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
