i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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