She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
