maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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