I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
