we need to drink 2009 down the drain
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
