I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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