If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
