I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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