babies were throwing up all over the place
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
