Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We left an ass print on the piano.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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