Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
